


Nightmares

by lionhalla



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-20
Updated: 2013-07-20
Packaged: 2017-12-20 19:41:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/891091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionhalla/pseuds/lionhalla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nightmares are the scars of survival, but despite everything they share, Mako's and Raleigh's aren't identical.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightmares

It's hard to prepare for a nightmare that isn't originally yours.

In all the things they've been able to collect from one another, childhoods and crushes, hobbies and habits and hopes, the fears and terrors were most jarring. It's something that sticks, something they managed to steal out of the darkest crevices of their memories. They have  _everything_  of each other and they literally wouldn't trade it for the world, but sometimes there's almost too much to handle alone, now that their consciences are separate.

The best thing about the drift, about the neural link between two pilots, is that they're forever tethered. Long after the machines have been shut off, long after the jaeger's been powered down and put away in a giant memorial to the efforts of the brave men and women that gave their lives to battle the kaiju and save the planet, the bond is still there. There's something  _powerful_  about seeing someone else's first memory, about seeing every anguish and heartache and defeat. And there's something exhilarating about seeing every little triumph. There's something magical about the whole process. Fuck science and innovation - it's magic. It's tapping two souls together to create the ultimate fighting force. 

It's incredibly disappointing when it's gone, but even without the tech, the pilots are forever linked. Forever in each other's heads. Mako's left so much in Raleigh he could wade waist-deep in it, and Raleigh's dumped enough in Mako that she could spend years sorting through it. It's made them better and whole as much as it's left gaping wounds in their conscience. They share everything that's made them what they are, and everything that's taken them this far. But they don't always share nightmares. Those are unique, twisted scars that stand as the aftermath of survival. The brief moments of terror are entirely unique in their own, with the potential to morph into new monsters.

 

Mako's screaming in the corner, huddled behind a car and sobbing as she clutches her precious shoe. Raleigh can't do anything to help her. He can only watch, seeing her terror on a loop that he can't stop by convincing her not to chase the rabit. There's no rabit to chase. He's entirely alone with her fear in his own head.

* * *

Yancy's terrified, and God, the pain. 

* * *

Raleigh knows what's going to happen next. Mako's going to leave her parents' bodies and run, run until she can't anymore and, just in time, Stacker's going to come save her. That's what he expects, but Mako keeps on running. Stacker never shows. And all of the sudden, Raleigh can do something. He can grab the little girl he loves and hold her against his chest as he rounds an alleyway and runs like hell.

It doesn't do anything, really. It just prolongs the inevitable. The kaiju catches up and he wakes up with a startled gasp, twisting and shoving until he's free of the sheets that had tangled around him. Next to him, Mako's still asleep, with a similarly distressed look on her face. He shoves her shoulder before falling back against the mattress and rolling to hold himself up on his elbow, better positioned to cup her face, to tell her that she's all right. "Mako, you're fine. It's a dream, you're all right." She needs to wake up. "Mako, wake up."

"Raleigh!"

* * *

_Raleigh!_

It's one last frantic thought as the pain increases. He's let his brother down, left him alone in a tin coffin, and there's nothing he can do to save him, no way to help him finish the fight. No way to do anything now, hanging by the wires and cables, twisted in them, one slicing into his throat before something happens and everything is gone.

"It's okay, Mako."

She snaps her eyes open and pants as she stares at Raleigh where he's leaning above her. His haunted expression probably mirroring hers. 

"What was it?" She whispers, grunting softly as she shifts to sit up against the pillows. "What did you dream about?"

"What did _you_ dream about?"

Like every other night, neither one of them answers. It doesn't matter. They always manage to share the dreams eventually. Bad memories going sour, nightmares that came to pass, and sometimes, even manage to change for the worse. 

* * *

The night she dies, Raleigh doesn't stop screaming.

She's managed to get something peaceful, the comfort of nothingness able to carry her all the way to morning, but it's disturbed with Raleigh thrashing. Mako isn't sleeping light enough to wake, not until she hears her name get torn from his throat in a mangled sob. She sits up quickly, fumbling in the darkness for him before she rolls to lie on top of him, hushing him softly as she strokes his face with her knuckles, wincing at the shouts that erupt from him.

"Raleigh, I'm here. Raleigh? Wake up, please."

Her fingers stop at moisture and she sits up with a soft sigh, bracketing her knees against his hips as she bows over him and takes his face in her hands. He opens his eyes slowly, fearfully, expecting to be alone in Gipsy Danger's remnants, willing himself to drown. 

"Mako?" His voice is broken, a shaky whisper, and he falters out a breath before trembling beneath her and grabbing her, pulling and tugging until she's tucked safely in his arms against his chest, her heartbeat a lullaby for his sanity. 

"What happened, Raleigh?"

"Mako, I'm so sorry."

"What happened?"

He doesn't answer. He doesn't do anything but hold her for the rest of the night, and when Mako thinks he's asleep, when she pulls away enough to untuck her head from beneath his chin so she can check him, he's wide awake. 

"Raleigh," she breathes. "Please, tell me what happened."

"Go back to sleep," he murmurs. He doesn't sound like himself. Whatever is in his eyes makes him a stranger, but Mako lets him fit her against him again. Whatever helps. When she wakes up, he sounds like Raleigh, offering a gravelly "morning" as they sit up in bed. It hurts to see him so exhausted in the daylight, but they share the relief of having survived the horror trapped in their heads.


End file.
